⚠ DO NOT LIGHT THAT CANDLE UNTIL YOU HAVE READ THIS PAGE ⚠
00666001 lost souls have visited since 04/01/1997
Hi. My name is Doug. For eleven years I was a practicing satanist. I owned two (2) robes. I had a goat named Brian. I chanted backwards at the Blockbuster Video parking lot every Thursday.
Then one night, at 2 AM, waiting for a ritual to "activate," I turned on the TV and saw a cartoon where a teenager piloted a giant robot and had a really bad time about it.
My life changed forever. I have not summoned anything since. I can now read a menu in Osaka. I want the same for you.
Let's be honest with each other. You've been at this a while. Ask yourself:
| ☠ SATANISM ☠ | ★ JAPANESE + ANIME ★ |
|---|---|
| Draw a pentagram in chalk | Draw a kanji with 23 strokes (also chalk works) |
| Chant in Latin you don't understand | Chant in Japanese you don't understand YET |
| Wait 400 years for a demon | Wait 1 week for the next episode |
| Robe (itchy) | Pajamas (soft, features a mascot) |
| Blood pact | Streaming subscription (technically also a pact) |
| Cursed tome nobody can read | Manga, read right-to-left, still nobody can read at first |
| Your mom is worried | Your mom is worried but in a way she can explain to her friends |
| Eternal damnation (allegedly) | Eternal filler arcs (confirmed) |
★ TESTIMONIAL ★
"I used to invoke the Seven Princes of Hell. Now I invoke the seven days of the week: 月火水木金土日. Same number of names. WAY less smoke damage."
— Tammy, formerly of the Order of the Left-Handed Path, now of Kansas City
Satanism makes you memorize sigils. Japanese makes you memorize these. Look how friendly they are. Not a single one of them wants your soul.
Pro tip: あくま (akuma) means "demon." You will never need this word again after today. Learn it once, for closure.
I won't tell you titles (my lawyer, who is also my cousin, said not to). But here is what to look for at your local video rental establishment:
♥ Doug's Personal Guarantee ♥
If you watch 3 episodes of ANYTHING and still want to go back to the goat: email me. I will personally mail you a sticker. The sticker says UNDER CONSTRUCTION because that is what you are, spiritually.
Renounce helps teams and individuals migrate from legacy infernal commitments to a modern, scalable anime-and-language workflow — with zero downtime and full audit history.
Book a demo View documentationAutomated candle decommissioning, robe recycling, and pentagram cleanup with reversible chalk diffs.
Progress from zero to ordering ramen with confidence. Integrates with any streaming provider via subtitles.
Role-based recommendations, filler-arc suppression, and season-end incident reports delivered to Slack.
"Before Renounce, our organization spent 40% of engineering hours on rituals that never shipped. Now we ship a rewatch every quarter."
^^^ sorry about that. my nephew Kyle "monetized" the site while I was at Japanese class. I don't know how to remove it. ^^^
悪魔よ、さようなら。
Akuma yo, sayounara.
"Demon, goodbye."
Tell the world you're out. (Nothing is saved. Just like your soul isn't, anymore, to anyone.)
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Doug is not a licensed exorcist, teacher, or anything. Please consult a real Japanese class. Please do not consult a real demon.